


Is this thing on?

by stationdragon



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Galra Keith (Voltron), Gen, Humor, Team Voltron Family, the garrison trio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 06:06:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10530459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stationdragon/pseuds/stationdragon
Summary: The paladins of Voltron could use a distraction and Lance is happy to oblige, though it might be at Keith's expense.





	

Lance is bone-tired. After an especially exhausting mission, he and the other paladins silently glide through space, the castle a tiny pulsing dot on their lions’ navigation grids. No one speaks, dispirited by the suffering they keep encountering among Zarkon’s slave colonies. For every planet they manage to free, it seems there are a hundred more enslaved. It’s beginning to take a toll on them. They could use a break, or at the very least a diversion.

“Hey Hunk, did ya ever used to think Keith dyed his hair?” Lance idly asks, though exhaustion tugs at his heels like lead weights.

“What?” Hunk’s groggy voice startles over Lance’s helmet comm as if he’s just been jarred awake from a nap. Knowing Hunk, he probably has.

“‘Cause when we first met him back at the Garrison,” Lance continues blithely, stifling a yawn of his own, “I totally thought he dyed his hair.”

“Oh right,” Hunk says, clearing the sleep from his throat, “because of the…”

“… purple hi-lights,” they both say together.

“It's like his colour scheme, or something,” Hunk says, and there’s a different sound that Lance thinks might be Hunk stretching in his seat, “Purple eyes, purple hair. How, how did we not know he was Galra again?”

“Maybe it’s like this alleged sense of humour I keep hearing about,” Pidge’s voice this time, sounding weary and wry. “It only manifests itself when there’s a glowing knife inside the room.”

“You guys, I’m telling you, Galra-Keith is funny,” Hunk insists, to the sounds of his friends skeptically scoffing at him. 

“You guys realise I can hear everything you’re saying right?” Keith mutters over the comm. Lance can practically hear the scowl in his voice. “Also, Hunk stop calling me that!”

“I think there’s only one way to settle this,” Lance says, a sly grin tugging at his lips. “Keith, tell us a joke so we can judge for ourselves whether this hypothetical sense of humour exists or not.”

“What? No! I’m not, I’m not telling you a joke!” Keith protests.

“Oh come on!” Lance cries.

“Don’t be like that!” Pidge says.

“What’s the big deal?” Hunk asks.

“I wouldn’t mind hearing a joke actually,” Shiro’s voice interjects, sounding tired and more than a little amused at the conversation.

“Shiro…” Keith gasps. “Why…” He sputters, as if he’s just found a dead fish wrapped in newspaper stuffed inside Red’s glovebox. 

“What can I say,” Shiro says mildly, “I’m bored.”

“Oh well, now you _have_ to do it.” Lance purrs, his grin turning gleeful. Inside his head, Blue vibrates playfully; a big mechanical kitten with a giant ball of yarn.

“You can’t disappoint Shiro,” Pidge says, her tone wheedling.

“Joke! Joke! Joke! Joke!” Hunk starts chanting. Lance and Pidge join him.

“ALL RIGHT!” Keith bellows, so loudly the mic inside Lance’s helmet cuts out for a moment. “Just… shut up already!”

All fades to silence, the only audible sounds the roar of their lions’ thrusters and the occasional chirp of a sensor.

“Well..?” Pidge says impatiently.

“We’re waiting…” Lance says, raising an eyebrow. There’s no response.

“You guys think he hit the Eject button?” Hunk ventures after another moment. “ _Is_ there an Eject button?”

“Fine… Whatever,” Keith grumbles, and Lance can hear the eye-roll in his voice. He breathes a long exasperated sigh. “Why did the chicken go to the seance?”

“What?” Lance blinks, caught off guard by the seemingly random question.

“Why did the chicken go to the seance?” Keith repeats, carefully enunciating each word. Lance’s eyes widen with excitement. It’s a joke. Keith is telling them a joke. Keith!

“Why?” Hunk asks.

“To get to the other side,” Keith says defiantly, as if daring them to fight him.

For a moment Lance’s comm fairly rings with dead air. “That is both the saddest and the funniest joke I’ve ever heard,” he says finally, forcing himself not to laugh, because it’s Keith and he enjoys winding him up.

“It’s like a joke Wednesday Addams would make after murdering a clown,” Pidge says.

“At a kids birthday party, while he was in the middle of making balloon animals,” Hunk adds.

“Can you please stop making fun of me now?” Keith mutters. There’s an odd thumping sound. Lance thinks Keith might be banging his head on the dash.

“It is literally impossible not to make fun of you right now,” Lance quips dryly.

“I don’t get it,” Shiro deadpans.

That’s when everyone loses it, just completely falls to pieces. They dissolve into giggling piles of goo. Everyone except Keith, that is. The castle looms suddenly, becoming visible in the black space ahead of them. Lance’s helmet comm chirps.

“Welcome home paladins,” Coran’s warm voice cheerfully greets them. No one answers, exhausted giggles robbing them of breath. “Paladins?” Coran hesitates. “Hello?” There’s a tapping sound. “Is this thing on?”

Immediately, everyone starts roaring with laughter again. 

Even Keith.

END

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [tumblr](https://stationdragon.tumblr.com/) Ask box is always open.


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